Wednesday, July 6, 2011

ba dum bump bump


I finally went for a session in god-knows-how-long and it felt good, really good. My body, it moves differently now. It's like meeting an old friend after 10 years, some aspects remain yet there is change, it felt like that yesterday. Was it what I was wearing? Maybe restricting my movement that little bit? I looked like me, just different, but I liked what I saw.

Cap. I've grown accustomised to wearing it, pulled down to the front, blocking a bit of what's around me and giving me the illusion that I'm dancing alone. I've never been much of an exhibitionist , " Oh somebody's here,I'm going to do 10 pirouettes! ". Nope, not me. I've never wanted to show others what I have, but rather I wanted to show myself what I could do. How far I could go, how flexible I could be, how fluid my movements are... That alone would make me happy.

The moment I'm well aware of the fact that I'm being watched AND that the people watching know that I'm aware ( cyphers, battles ), I freak out. If I were sessioning in a corner alone, and I caught someone looking, I could easily brush it off and once again delude myself that OH NO NO NOBODY IS WATCHING. BIG SIGH.

Well, new insights gained yesterday, shaky confidence and rusty limbs aside, I need to dive into each endeavour with a whole tanker of faith... in myself.


*Om nom nom nom nom*

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