Friday, August 24, 2012


The thing about growing up this way, I learnt the value of money. Not just digits, but what having that wad of papers in your pocket means.

The funny thing? It could mean everything and at the same time, nothing at all.
Irony of life.

It's been a long battle in my mind, run for the cash or run for the passion?
I'd just have to keep believing that somehow, it'll work around both. It's scary exploring options considering how I know nothing other than what I'm doing now. But something has to lead somewhere, the things I've been led to, things I've done... The dots will connect one day.

Blind faith I guess?

All these just got triggered in my mind, because yet again, it happened. I got another sms of another lump sum of withdrawal. One time too frequent, each time I get one, my heart drops. Finally decided to check my account, and the numbers... my jaws just dropped.

What the fuck is going on around here?
But it's never been okay to ask.
It's never been okay to ask for anything different.

All I can do is suck it up, and suck it up I will.

I don't ask to eat fine dishes, to carry that branded bag or to get the luxuries in life.
If I really wanted those, I would get it all on my own.
All I ask for is financial security.

Ask is an understatement, I fucking crave it.
It's been something that could have been so easily attainable these couple of years, but the people with the rights to, make all the wrong decisions.

It's something that by the natural societal state, should have been provided.
But since it isn't, it hasn't been, and the lines I've drawn towards it are being marred by others...

I will fight even harder for it.
I will get it.

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