Friday, March 29, 2013

back from the abyss









WHY HELLO I'M STILL ALIVE.



So... I disappeared for quite a bit because my thoughts were eating up at me far too much. 
Decided it'll be nice to let this space have a breather from my dank, dark thoughts. It wasn't much of a conscious effort, I guess I just wasn't in the mood to do anything other than drag myself to work in a sorry state. Slamming away at my keyboard as I unload, sobbing, had zero appeal to me. 
I think my Mac deserves a bit more love.




Apart from going a little off the rockers in my mind, smoking way too much, partying way too hard and crawling to work... I finally sat down and mapped out my future essential expenditure (school&insurance), looked through my dues, what I have left, what I'm supposed to be getting blah blah.



Basically, I just had an intimate moment with my money. 



It's all barely started, and already I feel the weight on my shoulders. No more emotional shopping sprees, no more happy clothes buying moments, as sad as it sounds....




It's time to man up.
Grow up even more than I already have, my days of floating and the simple " As long as I have this amount in my bank it's okay " just doesn't cut it anymore. I need to have SO MUCH MORE. I hate having to scrimp and save, I'd rather earn more then I can still spend and yet save. It just makes so much more sense to me. 






It's time to put myself back together. 
Frankly, I don't give a fuck if I'm still going to be falling apart on the inside. 
As long as everything tangible is in place, that's all that matters to me now.






Oh yes, and of course getting my scholarship because I'd be paying through my nose if I don't.










I have a terrible Peter Pan complex. 
Could never understand the people who were so eager to grow up. 





2 comments:

  1. Hi Audrey... hope you are doing ok. Just wanted to let you know to check your email? I need to get a response urgently :)

    Nat

    ReplyDelete
  2. hi audrey.. i'm still waiting for your email response :) please do check, thank you!

    ReplyDelete