Tuesday, December 24, 2013


Well, HIIII. I've been away from here for too long now! Not anymore though, but before I start my onslaught of backdated posts and advertorials, I'd like to dedicate this first comeback post to one of the most amazing person in my life. 

It is now the 24th of December 3 am, 
the eve of my favourite festivity of the year,
and the birthday of one of my favourite beings.


No words can describe how thankful I am to have a brother like him; from the way he's a quiet inspiration to me, to his subtle but doting actions and the way he saves my tech-stupid ass every time I kill a gadget... I appreciate all of it. 

There aren't many people I know who have a close relationship with their sibling(s) and I'm blessed that I do. I don't get to see my brother much these days because he's only home on weekends and that's usually the busiest time of the week for me. I'd usually be home at ungodly hours after work, stumbling about the whole place in my inebriated state and the only time I have with him are those sober waking moments hours before my work starts again the next day. 

But that's enough :)

We'd laze around in my room, talking about anything and everything. 
From the mundane stuff like work and school to the more heartfelt stuff like our views on life and the future. Our conversations are always peppered with laughter laced by our ridiculous humour that few would get. 

My brother and I have always been close, we've never fought except the one time when I was 4 and he pulled my hair and I started being a princessy little bitch .___.
Even at the time when I was most distant from my family, I was still closest to him. 
And now we're closer than ever before, way past the days when I was just a train wreck waiting to happen, floating around day by day not knowing what to do with my life exactly. 

The thing is, he always had faith that I'd be alright. 

Even when I was out of school, working the nightlife, being absolutely mediocre and dating the wrong people. He had faith that I'd be alright.
My mum would always confide in him about how worried she was about me, busting my ass off in the late nights, worried I wouldn't be able to take care of myself with all the alcohol and people around me, me not going back to school...
And he'd always assure her with 
" Aiyahhh, ma don't need to worry. Bam can take care of herself. She knows what she's doing. "

Actually no, I had no idea what I was doing (hahaha) or where to go from where I used to be. 
But I knew I had to keep moving forward with my life, and get out of the gutter I had jumped into and stayed in for way too long.
I still have no idea what I'd be doing, it's a blurry picture of the future but I'm doing a lot more now and looking waaaay less like the mess I was half a year ago.

So thank you for having faith in me :') 

For everything that he is, 
the smart scholar, 
the hardcore gamer,
the dedicated environmentalist,
the doting brother,
the filial selfless son...
I appreciate every single bit of who he is and who he will be.

Before this ends up being a longass sobfest, I shall end it here...


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