Thursday, July 17, 2014

July & Quarter Life Crisis

Hello again, I disappeared when I realised that all I wanted to write about was how morose I felt so I hid in my little cubby hole protected by vibrant pictures of a prettier story. The inertia has been high, the existence of July alone has the dreadful ability to sap me of well, me. My relationship with food has been primal- I'm hungry I eat. Any form of gastronomic excitement never makes it pass the 5 second mark.

A couple of plans were put on hold to deal with the month itself, to give myself time to just fend off the nauseating thoughts and get better. A mini personal pilgrimage... in my room.  My footage and pixels from Bali and so much more are just sitting around in my own little Pensieve, waiting to see the light of day.  More to come and more to be done, it'd be a fufilling rest of the year with several key events already locked down. I'd keep pushing and see what I can come up with.

I can't believe that in a couple of days time, I'd be a year older when the clock strikes 12. Ugh. I've never bought into that whole 'ideal' of growing older and never understood what the rush was.

" Isn't it scary that the next 10 years of our lives would see the biggest change. A career and BOOM suddenly marriage and kids. "

I'd never forget that one statement Gordy had made during one of our usual banter sessions when we were in school. It scared the fuck out of me, still does. You go about your day and suddenly in those quiet moments waiting in line to buy lunch or that commute to some annoying obligation and it hits you... You're growing old. 

You trace back to certain memories that seemed like they were just yesterday and you realise that those weren't even weeks or months ago, but years. Freaking YEARS. You walk into a room of people and instead of wondering if they like you, you wonder if you like them. The numbers that bother you are no longer the scores on your examination sheets but the balance in your bank account. You put aside your wants for your needs and being hedonistic is no longer termed 'young' but 'irresponsible'. You go on social media, see the comments that kids make these and actually worry about the NEXT generation and what the world is coming to. God damn, you were once THE next generation. Where did those rose tinted glasses go? Oh right, you now view the world in all its brutal honesty through jaded eyes.

And people couldn't wait to grow up. 


1 comment:

  1. love it :) well. damn i am almost mid life crisis :(